Skip to main content

Jokes

 

My Hindi teacher . . .

I had my schooling at JNVO. There, we  had  nice schooling and the best teachers. One day, when I met my Hindi madam, I was very much amused  to  hear these words from her

' Hey Venu, tumhara nam Raghu haina? ' ( Hey Venu, isn't your name Raghu ? )







బ్రష్  మారుస్తున్నాను 


డాక్టర్ : ప్రతి  రెండు  నెలలకు  ఒకసారి  టూత్ బ్రష్  మార్చమని  చెప్పాను , మారుస్తున్నావా ?

వెంగళప్ప : మారుస్తున్నాను  డాక్టర్ ! నా బ్రష్  మా  ఆవిడ , మా  ఆవిడ బ్రష్  నేను  ఇప్పడికి  రెండు  సార్లు  మార్చుకున్నాం . 
                                                ( ఈనాడు దినపత్రిక )





Catholic School


An eleven-year-old Jewish boy was failing math. His parents tried everything from tutors to hypnosis; but to no avail. Finally, at the insistence of a family friend, they decided to enroll their son in a private Catholic school.



 After the first day, the boy's parents were surprised when he walked in after school with a stern, focused and very determined expression on his face. He went straight past them, right to his room and quietly closed the door. 



For nearly two hours he toiled away in his room - with math books strewn about his desk and the surrounding floor. He emerged long enough to eat, and after quickly cleaning his plate, went straight back to his room, closed the door and worked feverishly at his studies until bedtime.

 This pattern of behaviour continued until it was time for the first quarter's report card. The boy walked in with it unopened - laid it on the dinner table and went straight to his room. Cautiously, his mother opened it and, to her amazement, she saw a large black 'A' under the subject of Math. 

Overjoyed, she and her husband rushed into their son's room, thrilled at his remarkable progress. "Was it the nuns that did it?" the father asked. 

The boy shook his head and said "No." 

"Was it the one-to-one tutoring? The peer-mentoring?" 

"No." 

"The textbooks? The teachers? The curriculum?" 

"No", said the son. "On that first day, when I walked in the front door and saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I KNEW they meant business!" 

( Jokes4us )






Islamophobia 

Central Park A college student is taking a walk in Central park in New York. Suddenly he sees a little girl being attacked by a pit bull dog . He runs over and starts fighting with the dog. He saves the girl's life, but the pit bull is killed in the process.

A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and says: "You are a hero, tomorrow you can read it in all the newspapers: "Brave New Yorker saves the life of little girl" 

The man says: - "But I am not a New Yorker!" "Oh ,then it will say in newspapers in the morning: 'Brave American saves the life of little girl'" the policeman answers. 

"But I am not an American!" says the man.

"Oh, what are you then? " 

The man says: - "I am a Saudi !" 

The next day the newspapers say: "Islamic extremist kills innocent American dog." 

( Jokes4us )





The Mahabharata and the Ramayana

A lawyer was asked 'What is your opinion on Mahabharata and Ramayana?'

He replied

' the First one is land-dispute case and the latter is Kidnap case'

(Source : Sashaguna Anga)





                                          



Popular posts from this blog

Why I am a free-thinker

A free-thinker is the one who doesn't accept any theory without sufficient evidence. I have no doubt in calling myself a free-thinker. I am very happy to say I have freed my thought from religious or any other sectarian bias since a very young age ( at 16 ).
We must always understand the World as it is not as we want it to be. Our opinions should always be formed on the basis of reason and empirical evidence, not on authority, tradition or dogma. Besides, science has become a big help to the human race in the objective understanding of the World. So, it can only form a solid foundation for our knowledge.
I believe the matter is the fundamental substance in nature and everything including our thoughts and emotions are the effects of the matter. Nothing other than matter (and its different forms) exist in the Universe. Our thoughts and emotions have physical basis as they are the functions of our brain. 
Human beings are essentially rational but everywhere they are chained by do…

Market strategy until the next General Elections

There is some weakness apparently visible in the markets now. But, don't fear! It's quite common to find the volatility as this is an election year. And nobody knows when Modi announces the elections. 
Let's assume next General Elections are ten months away. How can we formulate our market strategy these ten months? I hope you are following at least ten stocks at a time. Always buy any of these stocks if they dive more than expected. If you are a salaried person, you can buy small amounts of stocks on every dip depending upon the availability of cash. This is the main point of our strategy. Don't sell any stock these ten months. 
You may ask me when to sell a stock. The best time to sell is after the new government takes over the reins. The market will be buoyant then. It will certainly make the northward movement. So, remember the right time to buy is during the election year. And the right time to sell is during the first two years of the new government. 
         …

My portfolio

1. IRB Infra


2. Sanwaria


3. TATA Motors


4. TATA Global


5. Ashok Leyland


6. Gammon infra


7. 3i Infotech


8. Karuturi Global


9. Visagar Polytex


10.Welspun india



Venugopal Bandlamudi
                         M.A., B.Ed.
www.thinkervenu.com